It's been a little over 9 months since my baby boy left us.
I miss him every day. Like when I am eating and don't eat all of my food and think "Oh, Chou would love this, I'll give him some." Or when I cook and fix Ari's plate first (so it cools) and catch myself about to make a plate for Chou (so it would cool) so that we can all sit down to dinner together and eat.
What makes me sad is knowing that baby Karys won't know him. That she won't have him checking on her if she cries, or sniffing her before he lays down for a nap. What makes me sad is knowing that Ari misses him a lot.
As this pregnancy comes closer and closer to an end, I just miss him more and more. As we make our last minute preparations for delivery day, I catch myself about to remind hubby to make sure to check in on Chou-Chou while I'm in the hospital. Or I start to ask him who we should have come check in on Chou if I go into labor at an odd hour.
Even though he's no longer with us, I'm still looking out for my little boy. I just miss him a lot lately. But even so, I'm not sad about it. I just miss him.
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