No Really, I'm Still Alive!

So since my last post...which was sometime last year....I've been sick.  Yes, I know its been like 5 weeks.  But I've been sick for five weeks.

For real.

I've been felled by the plague.  First Ari gets sick, then Karys, then me. That's just how it goes.  But this time around, before I could get better, Ari got a second plague, then gave it to Karys, and then to me.

Of course I neglected myself because I was so concerned for my babies health.  As in only 3 hours of sleep a night concerned.  Did I mention that when I'm sick the anxiety medicine does not work?  Well it doesn't.  Anyhow, once my babes were better, it occurred to me: "Gee, I've been sick for 4 weeks. I should probably go see a doctor.  Because if I don't take care of myself, I'm no good for my babes."

So I went to the doctor.  Turns out that in those 4 weeks I ended up with an extraordinarily bad sinus infection.  I haven't had one of those in like over 10 years.  I thought I was going to die.  Well, not really, but I do have postpartum anxiety issues you know.

I went through 3 antibiotics.  See, as a nursing mother, I can't have the antibiotics that usually work well for me, so I had to slog through two antibiotics, not getting any better mind you, until the doctor gave me something stronger.

And then I had a cough.  A bad cough. The kind that leaves you in pain because you're coughing and hacking so badly.  The kind that taking OTC cough syrup only results in a cough syrup flavored cough and vomiting.  Which then results in the throat and chest getting irritated and swollen to the point where you can barely breathe.  So guess who had to get the really good cough syrup with codeine. Yep me. Couldn't even enjoy it because I can't take it with my anxiety medicine, so I didn't take the medicine for anxiety. Which left me super anxious about the effects it could have on my little plumpie pie through breast milk. So I took half the dose I was prescribed.  Now mind you, I know this concern was ridiculous.  I had a c-section, was pumped full of morphine (which kinda sucked btw) and was given codeine pain pills for 2 weeks afterwards and breastfed the entire time.   My little plumpie pie was fine then and she was fine this time as well.  But anxiety isn't logical, which is what bugs me the most about it.

Did I mention postpartum anxiety sucks?

And then the fevers and chills.  I never get a fever. Ever. I will be burning up and my temperature will be 98.6...which is actually high for me since I normally have a low body temperature.  So here I was freezing cold and chilled and shocked to hear that I had a fever of 101.1.   But if I took an advil, I'd be burning up and sweating like mad.  I don't get it. But whatever.

So now, I am finally getting better...but now my postpartum anxiety is getting to me.  Because I didn't take the medicine while I was taking the cough syrup and because it doesn't work if I'm sick.  I'm so tired of the anxiety.  It really is ridiculous.  And annoying.  


So I'm hoping that once I'm 100% I'll get back into the swing of the blogging.  

We'll see.